These truffles contain only 3 ingredients: live, laugh and love *monkey emoji*. Only messin it’s actually oreos, cream cheese and choccie, and they are soooo quick to make and even quicker scoff.
I decided to make mine into little pandas, not really sure why, I just got the urge, but you can decorate with whatever tickles your pickle.
Fun fact about pandas, they poo on average 40 times a day!!! Their pipes must be clean as a whistle, wish I could say the same, my iron tablets are clogging me up like no tomorrow. 😦
Before we get crackalackin, here’s this week’s KG:
Kitchen Goss
First of all, I hope you all approve of my new identity. It was a sad day changing from BTB but I think it was a strategic career move from me.
Secondly, it’s another lockdown which means more questionable online purchases. Last night’s deal was a posture corrector in a desperate attempt to solve my Quasimodo back. It’s like a full on back brace, but nothing I can’t pull off. Will keep you all updated with the results, if I’m not a model in a month I’m going to be FUMIN.
Ok recipe time…
Ingredients
24 oreos
160g full fat cream cheese
optional – 1 tbsp icing sugar
200g white choc, 100g dark choc
Method – makes 10 golf ball sized truffles, triple the recipe if you live with Vic Fletcher
Choose your weapon to crush the oreos e.g. blender, rolling pin
make sure they’re finely crushed, you don’t want bitty truffles
plop your cream cheese into the crushed biccies and stir
I like to sweeten mine a bit more with 1 tbsp icing sugar but if you’re not addicted to sugar like me then you can skip this bit
form into balls – size is up to you, I made mine golf ball sized
place on a tray lined with baking paper/tin foil
pop in the freezer for 15 mins
whilst they’re chillaxin, get melting your choccie
take the chilled ballz out and coat in the choccie, I use a fork to get them out so some of the choc can drip off
top tip – if you’re coating in the white choc I would melt your choccie in batches because it can get a bit dirty from the oreo balls, so just melt enough to coat 1 or 2 truffles at a time!
if you’re a bit random and also want to make them into pandas, I did the face with white and dark choc and just used a cocktail stick to draw it on, and carved the ears out of an oreo using a knife (or you can just nibble it into shape)
if you don’t pandas then let your creative juices flow and decorate any way you like!
Isomalt is a sugar alcohol (not the kind you can get sloshed on though 😦 ) and when it cools it sets like hard candy – perfect for sugar art. It can be blown into little bubbles, made into delicate flowers, or in this case, slopped around to make a splash.
Before we begin, here’s the KG.
Kitchen Goss
The one accessory which should feature in every fashionista’s wardrobe: Primark’s Disney dog outfit range.
If you have a below average sized head and want to stand out from the crowd, then the small dog costumes will be right up your street. Slip into one of these and everyone will want to PET THAT DAWG.
Of course the stitch costume was whipped out after an incredibly *classy* bottomless brunch with my sistaz. The real question is though, who wore it better – me, Melis or the rat (Gregg)????
It’s the snorting for me x
Anyway, moving on. I’ve made a cheeky vid for you all instead of just a written recipe – keepin up with the tech for kids these days. Pls enjoy.
Ingredients
isomalt (ready tempered, clear, just get on amazon)
gel food colouring
silicone mat (this is needed)
bottle of some kind
Method
Pop a few isomalt balls in a heatproof bowl
chuck in the microwave and blast in 30second intervals until bubbling
be really careful because it is literal molten sugar and can say from experience it hurts if you touch it
add in any colouring you want at this point
you might have to blast in the microwave again to get really hot (it sets up super quick so you have to move fast)
pour your bubbling isomalt onto your silicone mat
start to tip the mat to spread it around
when the isomalt has cooled slightly on the mat (30 secs) lay the mat over a bottle and hold in the desired shape
wait a couple of minutes until the isomalt has set hard
carefully remove the bottle and peel off the silicone mat – take your time you don’t want to crack your masterpiece
and that’s it!!! Pop it on top of your cake, sit back n chillax
And that’s everything my lovelies. Posts may be on the slow side for a while because my oven at uni is a genuine candle but I’ll see what I can rustle up.
We’re taking it back to my baking roots – the birthday cake. When I had first properly got into baking about age 12, the fondant bday cake was my stomping ground. Now, fondant isn’t what all the trendy kids want (youths these days grrr), so instead we move over to buttercream cakes – tastier, but harder to make look semi-decent.
This is one of my first buttercream cakes and went a bit off the rails with it. Feelin like one of those edgy art people and off to get a very short fringe cut to fit my new persona. Honestly, just call me Bob Ross x
Before we move on, here’s this week’s KG…
Kitchen Goss
I’m back in L town after TOO long. My cave is finally decorated (yes the nawti Mary Berry poster has made a return.) Despite all odds, my houseplants have survived their first week (hello Miss Greenfingers). I won’t do my washing until I have 1 sock and an age 12-13 T-shirt left. My housemates don’t hate me yet – give it another week girls 😉 and my diet has gone back to exclusively sour skittles and spag bol. IT’S. GOOD. TO. BE. BACK.
Ingredients
For the sponge:
340g butter
340g caster sugar
6 eggs
340g self-raising flour
zest of 3 lemons
For the lemon syrup:
85g caster sugar
juice from 1 1/2 lemons
For the buttercream:
3 tbsps lemon curd
swiss meringue buttercream or Italian meringue buttercream (basic recipe link here, you will need 2 or 3x this recipe:)
preheat oven to 180C and line 3 6inch round cake tins with baking paper
beat your butter and sugar
add in the eggos one at a time – don’t worry if it looks curdled at this point
fold in flour, vanilla extract and zesty stuff
plop even amounts into your cake tins
bake for 20-30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean
start making your syrup – mix together the sugar and lemon juice
poke a few holes all over the cakes with a skewer or whatever pointy item you can lay your hands on
drizzle the syrup all over the sponges – this will keep them super *MOIST*
let cool completely in the tin
make your buttercream and add in the lemon curd to flavour
level cakes using a knife or a cake leveller to be extra poncey
place one cake layer on turntable or plate
add a thin layer of lemon curd, followed by a blob of buttercream
sandwich with the next cake layer and repeat the lemon curd and buttercream blob
put the final cake layer on top
smooth a thin layer of buttercream all around the outside of the cake – this is called a crumb coat
pop in the fridge for an hour (or longer) to set
once set, smooth over a thicker layer of buttercream – use a palette knife and cake scraper (or anything with a straight edge) to work the buttercream into nice sharp lines
set in the fridge for at least one hour
mix small amounts of buttercream with food colouring of your choice
bring your chilled cake out of the fridge
get small amounts of coloured buttercream on a palette knife (or just a normal knife) and swipe onto the cake
keep going until you’re happy
mix up your splash mixture – stir together icing sugar and water until very drippy consistency
add whatever colour floats your boat at this point – I went for gold but sort of just looks brown 😦
dip in a paintbrush and shake it like mad at your cake
To finish off I added an isomalt splash – TUTORIAL COMING SOON – and put onto a basic silver cake board which I iced with fondant to make it look less rubbish
cut and enjoy x
And that’s the end of that very long recipe – sorry for blabbing on. Hope you all have a wonderful week. Lots of love, Han, BTB x
We all love a naughty bit of lemon driz, and this recipe from my queen – Mazza Bazza – is absolutely spectacular.
I was trying out my new loaf tin for this bad boi (yes it was another B&M purchase before you ask) and now I think I’ve spiralled into a slightly worrying tin obsession. What will be next?!? Classic bundt tin, or maybe a fun willy shaped one??? Who knows x
Before we get into the citrussy goodness, time for some juicy kitchen goss…
Kitchen Goss
6 years ago, the entire nation was busy filming themselves being drenched in iced water. Sometimes you’d stumble across a gem – ones where people’s tops fell down or they slipped – but most were just like mine: uncomfortable to watch.
Here I am, aged 14, sporting my Ed Sheeran T-shirt (my first concert which I attended with my dad.) Jeans cutting off circulation to my legs, alarmingly large eyebags. Is that a festival wristband you see? Oh no sir, that is a wristband from guide camp. The bun and full fringe, a strong and iconic look that I am SURE will make a come back very shortly. I was cool x
This vid may be cringe, but the ice bucket challenge did help to raise lots of monies for a great cause and is providing quality entertainment 6 years on, so we allow it x
Lotus Biscoff has had SUCH a glow up these past few years. It has gone from the classic ‘hairdresser biscuit’ to now even having its own spread (which is excellent if you’ve not tried it).
Thought it was about time I jumped on the hype and I’m super glad I did. These little morsels are prettyyyyy fineeeee.
Before we get to it, here’s what you came for…
Kitchen Goss
I decided I needed more than a ratty handmade quote to decorate my room at uni this year. There was only one place for the job. The holy ground: B&M Bargains.
Honestly that shop is a genuine spa day, I always come out feeling rejuvenated and ready crack on with my elaborate interior design ideas.
Here are 3 reasons why B&M is better than an actual spa retreat:
At B&M you THINK you’re spending your life savings on cr*p, but get to the checkout and are pleasantly surprised. Whereas at a spa day you blow £200 to get naked and listen to whale music.
At B&M nobody touches you with oily hands (except that one time…)
At B&M you come out with loads of useless clutter. Spa day you leave oily and empty handed 😦
Now I’m not normally a bread baker (mainly because you can’t gobble the mix as you go along) but this dough was superrrrr easy to make and actually turned out crispy n delish.
Before we get into the crumby biz, here’s this week’s kitchen goss…
Kitchen Goss
Note to self: NEVER go on a first date to the beach. We were having the time of our lives splish splashing around in Newcastle when Vic’s GoPro captured some horrific/hilarious pics that have honestly made my self esteem PLUMMET.
Pictured: 2 girls, one looks scarily like Paul Chuckle, the other just looks bad.
Action shot ❤ Caitlin, the goggles are a look x
Wig slip x
Overall, I think everyone on the beach got second hand embarrassment from us, but we had a mint time (minus thinking I had frost bite because my toes went purple.) Can’t wait for next year, love you two weirdos so much xxx
Anyway enough of that, are you bready for action? Sorry I’ll stop now, that was really bad.
350ml lukewarm water (slosh your finger in it, if you can’t keep your finger in for 15secs then it’s too hot)
1/2 tbsp salt
7g dried yeast
Method – makes 2 loaves (you can double the recipe but not sure why you’d want 4 loaves of bread x)
mix everything together until it forms a very sticky dough
BAM! The hard work is done
put it in a large & in charge bowl and cover with cling film
let rise at room temp for 2 hours
then put the bowl in the fridge for 1-7 days
This is where the flavour develops, the longer you leave it the tangier it gets
(I only left mine for 1 day because I was too impatient but it was still pengaleng)
when you’re ready to make the bread: get 2 baking trays lined with baking paper, and flour your surface
sprinkle the top of the dough with flour and grab a big chunk (about half of the dough)
plop it onto the floured surface and shape it into a rough blob
repeat for the other half of dough
put your balls of dough onto your lined baking trays
sift flour over the top
let come to room temperature for about 1 hour
Slash with a sharp knife a couple of times
preheat your oven to 210C and put a metal tray on the bottom of your oven (we will be putting water in this to create steam)
put your dough in the oven, and pour one mugful of boiling water into the hot metal tray
shut the door quickly – the steam is what makes a really crispy crust
bake for 25-30mins until golden and crisp
Gobble as soon as it is cool enough to do so x
And that’s it folks. Thanks again for all your continued support n dat, if you’ve not already followed my instagram I’d love it if you’d take a quick peep @bitches_that_bake
You saucyyyyy minx. *Said in dirty Northern accent*
As my closest homies will know, my fave EVER dessert is a classic sticky toffee pudding. But when the craving hits, there’s just no time to scurry out to get dates or slave over making a toffee sauce. This is where this self-saucing pud saves the day.
It’s pretty snazzy, the sauce is poured over the cake batter and everything gets banged in the oven. 30 mins later and the cake has magically swapped places with the toffee sauce. It is genuine witchcraft.
Before we get crackalackin, here is the KG:
Kitchen Goss
Today is a very very special day. After 4 long weeks my homebrew is FINALLY ready for a naughty sample. Like all good craft beers, I needed an edgy name for my little baby.
Rochdale Rat P*ss seemed fitting. Genuinely would rather have a plague-riddled rat from the Dale tinkle in my mouth than drink this.
Salty, twisted, and a bit soft – no I’m not talking about your ex. These soft pretzels are super fun to make, and can be made salty or sweet (or both) depending what tickles your fancy.
These were another delight from my BakedIn box, and they did not disappoint. I won’t harp on about BakedIn again but they are mint (pls sponsor me xoxo).
Before we get into the twisty business, here is this week’s KG.
We’re all familiar with the sheer trickery of a raisin pretending to be a ‘chocolate chip’. It can leave you feeling hurt and embarrassed, and then you’ve got to choke down the rest of the raisin fraudster.
Not to worry, there are absolutely no raisins in these bad boys – we’re safe.
I wouldn’t mind being called a ‘tart’ if they meant this spiral veggie tart. This pastry delight is definitely more aesthetically pleasing than me, and it tastes delish too!
The good thing about this is that you can fill it with whichever veggies tickle your fancy, butternut squash, courgette, carrot, turnips, some weird looking thing you found in Aldi, the options are endless.