Yes they are as cheeky as they sound. If you’re at slimming world then close your eyes, cos these bad boys are SINFUL.
Cookie + jaffa cakes + brownie + Terry’s chocolate orange = a lot of layers, a lot of fun.
Everybody loves a classique brownie, but honestly these are just on another level. If you still need more convincing, here’s some feedback from my scavenger housemates who polished off the entire tray within 24hours.
Since nobody has been able to jet off to Benidorm or any other exotic location this year, it’s time to bring the sun to us with this tropical traybake.
This orange and passionfruit cake will provide the sunny vibes, but if you really want to recreate the ‘Brit on holiday’ experience, then you’ll also need to do the following:
wear a ridiculous tropical shirt (bonus points if it matches with the rest of your travel companions)
get up at the crack of dawn to ‘save the sunbeds’
burn to a crisp on the first day
say it’s boiling at least 17 times a day
learn how to say hello in the local language, then proceed to speak English
Before we get into the nitty gritty of the recipe, here is this week’s (very embarrassing) kitchen goss
Kitchen Goss
I can’t quite believe I’m exposing myself this much on KG, but this is too funny not to share.
So I recently rediscovered this voice memo I made in 2018 when I was revising for my chemistry A-level. I must’ve seen a pinterest thing on creative ways to revise or something, because something unholy possessed me to make a song about electrophilic addition.
Yes it’s to the tune of ‘These Words’ by Natasha Bedingfield
Yes it took me all day to write (and I couldn’t even make it rhyme)
Yes the full version of ‘Mechanisms Mix *flame*’ is available on soundcloud
I can’t bring myself to listen to the full thing, and safe to say I will never be doing that again.
Back to the bake…
Ingredients
FOR THE CAKE
225g butter
225g caster sugar
4 eggs
225g self raising flour
1 orange – zested n juiced
1tsp vanilla extract
FOR THE ICING
150g butter
300g icing sugar
3tbsp passionfruit curd (or adjust to your taste)
1tsp vanilla extract
gel food colourings
Method
whack your butter and shug in a bowl and beat until light and fluffy
add eggos one at a time
fold in flour, orange zest, vanilla and 3/4 of your orange juice (save the remaining quarter for icing time)
Whack this in whichever tray tickles your pickle, make sure to grease and line it
bake for 20-25 mins at 180C (or if your oven doesn’t have numbers on it like mine, then just take it out when it looks golden and a knife comes out clean when you poke it in)
Whilst that’s cooling you can crack on with the icing
whip up the butter and icing sugar
add the orange juice and passionfruit curd to your taste (it can be quite zingy)
if you want to decorate with painted buttercream flowers then split icing into bowls and add colourings of your choice (gel food colourings work best here)
once the cake is cool, remove from the tin and spread over a base layer of icing
Let this set up in the fridge – very important step otherwise going to be difficult to add more buttercream on top!
once harder to the touch, get the cake out and get creative
I ‘painted’ flowers onto mine, which is a technique I’ve been wanting to try out for ages, but go with whatever you feel looks fun n fresh
If you’re interested in how I decorated my traybake, then take a look at this very speedy vid below.
We’re taking it back to my baking roots – the birthday cake. When I had first properly got into baking about age 12, the fondant bday cake was my stomping ground. Now, fondant isn’t what all the trendy kids want (youths these days grrr), so instead we move over to buttercream cakes – tastier, but harder to make look semi-decent.
This is one of my first buttercream cakes and went a bit off the rails with it. Feelin like one of those edgy art people and off to get a very short fringe cut to fit my new persona. Honestly, just call me Bob Ross x
Before we move on, here’s this week’s KG…
Kitchen Goss
I’m back in L town after TOO long. My cave is finally decorated (yes the nawti Mary Berry poster has made a return.) Despite all odds, my houseplants have survived their first week (hello Miss Greenfingers). I won’t do my washing until I have 1 sock and an age 12-13 T-shirt left. My housemates don’t hate me yet – give it another week girls 😉 and my diet has gone back to exclusively sour skittles and spag bol. IT’S. GOOD. TO. BE. BACK.
Ingredients
For the sponge:
340g butter
340g caster sugar
6 eggs
340g self-raising flour
zest of 3 lemons
For the lemon syrup:
85g caster sugar
juice from 1 1/2 lemons
For the buttercream:
3 tbsps lemon curd
swiss meringue buttercream or Italian meringue buttercream (basic recipe link here, you will need 2 or 3x this recipe:)
preheat oven to 180C and line 3 6inch round cake tins with baking paper
beat your butter and sugar
add in the eggos one at a time – don’t worry if it looks curdled at this point
fold in flour, vanilla extract and zesty stuff
plop even amounts into your cake tins
bake for 20-30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean
start making your syrup – mix together the sugar and lemon juice
poke a few holes all over the cakes with a skewer or whatever pointy item you can lay your hands on
drizzle the syrup all over the sponges – this will keep them super *MOIST*
let cool completely in the tin
make your buttercream and add in the lemon curd to flavour
level cakes using a knife or a cake leveller to be extra poncey
place one cake layer on turntable or plate
add a thin layer of lemon curd, followed by a blob of buttercream
sandwich with the next cake layer and repeat the lemon curd and buttercream blob
put the final cake layer on top
smooth a thin layer of buttercream all around the outside of the cake – this is called a crumb coat
pop in the fridge for an hour (or longer) to set
once set, smooth over a thicker layer of buttercream – use a palette knife and cake scraper (or anything with a straight edge) to work the buttercream into nice sharp lines
set in the fridge for at least one hour
mix small amounts of buttercream with food colouring of your choice
bring your chilled cake out of the fridge
get small amounts of coloured buttercream on a palette knife (or just a normal knife) and swipe onto the cake
keep going until you’re happy
mix up your splash mixture – stir together icing sugar and water until very drippy consistency
add whatever colour floats your boat at this point – I went for gold but sort of just looks brown 😦
dip in a paintbrush and shake it like mad at your cake
To finish off I added an isomalt splash – TUTORIAL COMING SOON – and put onto a basic silver cake board which I iced with fondant to make it look less rubbish
cut and enjoy x
And that’s the end of that very long recipe – sorry for blabbing on. Hope you all have a wonderful week. Lots of love, Han, BTB x
We all love a naughty bit of lemon driz, and this recipe from my queen – Mazza Bazza – is absolutely spectacular.
I was trying out my new loaf tin for this bad boi (yes it was another B&M purchase before you ask) and now I think I’ve spiralled into a slightly worrying tin obsession. What will be next?!? Classic bundt tin, or maybe a fun willy shaped one??? Who knows x
Before we get into the citrussy goodness, time for some juicy kitchen goss…
Kitchen Goss
6 years ago, the entire nation was busy filming themselves being drenched in iced water. Sometimes you’d stumble across a gem – ones where people’s tops fell down or they slipped – but most were just like mine: uncomfortable to watch.
Here I am, aged 14, sporting my Ed Sheeran T-shirt (my first concert which I attended with my dad.) Jeans cutting off circulation to my legs, alarmingly large eyebags. Is that a festival wristband you see? Oh no sir, that is a wristband from guide camp. The bun and full fringe, a strong and iconic look that I am SURE will make a come back very shortly. I was cool x
This vid may be cringe, but the ice bucket challenge did help to raise lots of monies for a great cause and is providing quality entertainment 6 years on, so we allow it x
Lotus Biscoff has had SUCH a glow up these past few years. It has gone from the classic ‘hairdresser biscuit’ to now even having its own spread (which is excellent if you’ve not tried it).
Thought it was about time I jumped on the hype and I’m super glad I did. These little morsels are prettyyyyy fineeeee.
Before we get to it, here’s what you came for…
Kitchen Goss
I decided I needed more than a ratty handmade quote to decorate my room at uni this year. There was only one place for the job. The holy ground: B&M Bargains.
Honestly that shop is a genuine spa day, I always come out feeling rejuvenated and ready crack on with my elaborate interior design ideas.
Here are 3 reasons why B&M is better than an actual spa retreat:
At B&M you THINK you’re spending your life savings on cr*p, but get to the checkout and are pleasantly surprised. Whereas at a spa day you blow £200 to get naked and listen to whale music.
At B&M nobody touches you with oily hands (except that one time…)
At B&M you come out with loads of useless clutter. Spa day you leave oily and empty handed 😦
You saucyyyyy minx. *Said in dirty Northern accent*
As my closest homies will know, my fave EVER dessert is a classic sticky toffee pudding. But when the craving hits, there’s just no time to scurry out to get dates or slave over making a toffee sauce. This is where this self-saucing pud saves the day.
It’s pretty snazzy, the sauce is poured over the cake batter and everything gets banged in the oven. 30 mins later and the cake has magically swapped places with the toffee sauce. It is genuine witchcraft.
Before we get crackalackin, here is the KG:
Kitchen Goss
Today is a very very special day. After 4 long weeks my homebrew is FINALLY ready for a naughty sample. Like all good craft beers, I needed an edgy name for my little baby.
Rochdale Rat P*ss seemed fitting. Genuinely would rather have a plague-riddled rat from the Dale tinkle in my mouth than drink this.
Cake. Custard. Choccie. Name a better trio, I’ll wait.
Classic vanilla cupcakes, filled with custard and topped with a whipped chocolate ganache frosting. (if you say it in the masterchef voice it sounds better)
Now I’ve always been more of a tea gal myself, but the struggle of making it into anatomy on 4 hours sleep has forced me to branch out to coffee. I must admit I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to coffee – just about handling a brew with half a pint of milk and 236487293487 sugars. I do, however, enjoy a vanilla latte which is why these bad bois have been rustled up.
We all love cake. We all love choccie. But for all you dieters out there, I know the shame of putting on ANOTHER pound at slimming world is nearly enough to stop you from scoffing another piece of cake. Not to worry, this cake has fruit in it so that means zero cals and one of your 5 a day!!! Ideal x