Posted in Savoury

Crusty White Bread

Crusty bread from a crusty girl x

Now I’m not normally a bread baker (mainly because you can’t gobble the mix as you go along) but this dough was superrrrr easy to make and actually turned out crispy n delish.

Before we get into the crumby biz, here’s this week’s kitchen goss…

Kitchen Goss

Note to self: NEVER go on a first date to the beach. We were having the time of our lives splish splashing around in Newcastle when Vic’s GoPro captured some horrific/hilarious pics that have honestly made my self esteem PLUMMET.

Pictured: 2 girls, one looks scarily like Paul Chuckle, the other just looks bad.

Action shot ❤ Caitlin, the goggles are a look x

Wig slip x

Overall, I think everyone on the beach got second hand embarrassment from us, but we had a mint time (minus thinking I had frost bite because my toes went purple.) Can’t wait for next year, love you two weirdos so much xxx

Anyway enough of that, are you bready for action? Sorry I’ll stop now, that was really bad.

(recipe adapted from https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/blog/2016/01/01/no-knead-crusty-white-bread)

Ingredients

  • 450g plain flour
  • 350ml lukewarm water (slosh your finger in it, if you can’t keep your finger in for 15secs then it’s too hot)
  • 1/2 tbsp salt
  • 7g dried yeast

Method – makes 2 loaves (you can double the recipe but not sure why you’d want 4 loaves of bread x)

  • mix everything together until it forms a very sticky dough
  • BAM! The hard work is done
  • put it in a large & in charge bowl and cover with cling film
  • let rise at room temp for 2 hours
  • then put the bowl in the fridge for 1-7 days
  • This is where the flavour develops, the longer you leave it the tangier it gets
  • (I only left mine for 1 day because I was too impatient but it was still pengaleng)
  • when you’re ready to make the bread: get 2 baking trays lined with baking paper, and flour your surface
  • sprinkle the top of the dough with flour and grab a big chunk (about half of the dough)
  • plop it onto the floured surface and shape it into a rough blob
  • repeat for the other half of dough
  • put your balls of dough onto your lined baking trays
  • sift flour over the top
  • let come to room temperature for about 1 hour
  • Slash with a sharp knife a couple of times
  • preheat your oven to 210C and put a metal tray on the bottom of your oven (we will be putting water in this to create steam)
  • put your dough in the oven, and pour one mugful of boiling water into the hot metal tray
  • shut the door quickly – the steam is what makes a really crispy crust
  • bake for 25-30mins until golden and crisp
  • Gobble as soon as it is cool enough to do so x

And that’s it folks. Thanks again for all your continued support n dat, if you’ve not already followed my instagram I’d love it if you’d take a quick peep @bitches_that_bake

Lots of luv, Han (BTB xxx)

Posted in Cakes

Self-saucing toffee pudding

You saucyyyyy minx. *Said in dirty Northern accent*

As my closest homies will know, my fave EVER dessert is a classic sticky toffee pudding. But when the craving hits, there’s just no time to scurry out to get dates or slave over making a toffee sauce. This is where this self-saucing pud saves the day.

It’s pretty snazzy, the sauce is poured over the cake batter and everything gets banged in the oven. 30 mins later and the cake has magically swapped places with the toffee sauce. It is genuine witchcraft.

Before we get crackalackin, here is the KG:

Kitchen Goss

Today is a very very special day. After 4 long weeks my homebrew is FINALLY ready for a naughty sample. Like all good craft beers, I needed an edgy name for my little baby.

Rochdale Rat P*ss seemed fitting. Genuinely would rather have a plague-riddled rat from the Dale tinkle in my mouth than drink this.

Jokes it’s actually alright, went down a treat.

this little cutie slurpin on some homebrew x

Back to biz

(recipe adapted from https://myfoodbook.com.au/recipes/show/caramel-self-saucing-pudding)

Ingredients

  • FOR THE SAUCE
  • 60g light brown sugar
  • 1tbsp golden syrup
  • 25g butter
  • 150ml boiling water
  • FOR THE SPONGE
  • 50g butter – melted
  • 75g caster sugar
  • 125g self raising flour
  • 100ml milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Method – serves 4, double it if you want more you lard arse

  • get your oven on 180C and get a baking dish of your choice nice and greasyyyy
  • chuck the sauce ingredients (light brown shug, golden syrup, butter and boiling water) in a jug and give that a cheeky stir
  • Bang all the cake ingredients (butter, caster sugar, flour, milk and vanilla) in another bowl and give that a stir until smooth
  • put your batter in your greasy dish
  • carefully pour your sauce all over the top
  • bake for 30mins until the cake is golden and the sauce is at the bottom of the dish
  • Let sit for 5 mins cos it is literally bobby boiling
  • Crack open the ice cream, serve n enjoy x

Happy customer x

Blob of icecream. Blob into mouth. The end.

Posted in Savoury

Soft Pretzels

Salty, twisted, and a bit soft – no I’m not talking about your ex. These soft pretzels are super fun to make, and can be made salty or sweet (or both) depending what tickles your fancy.

These were another delight from my BakedIn box, and they did not disappoint. I won’t harp on about BakedIn again but they are mint (pls sponsor me xoxo).

Before we get into the twisty business, here is this week’s KG.

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Posted in Savoury

Spiral Vegetable Tart

I wouldn’t mind being called a ‘tart’ if they meant this spiral veggie tart. This pastry delight is definitely more aesthetically pleasing than me, and it tastes delish too!

The good thing about this is that you can fill it with whichever veggies tickle your fancy, butternut squash, courgette, carrot, turnips, some weird looking thing you found in Aldi, the options are endless.

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Posted in Other Treats

Flapjacks

Before you panic, they’re choccie chips not raisins – I’m not a sicko.

Flapjacks are such an underrated sweet treat, and they are sooo easy to make. Plus, if you’re feeling generous, they are very easily packaged up and delivered to friends, neighbours or randomers during quarantine. Obviously I didn’t do that lol, me and my family demolished them before I had the chance, but if you had a bigger heart and a smaller stomach than me, you could x

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