Posted in Other Treats

Croissants

A bit greasy and a massive flake, but we always go back for more – the croissant is the F-boy of the pastry world.

Making croissants is definitely a labour of luv so if you’re looking for a quick sweet fix, this is not the one for you. If however, you have a spare couple of days and want to make some DELISH pastry morsels then keep reading…

I made these little lovelies as part of the BreadAhead online tutorial. It was so much fun, learned a lot and would highly recommend if you want something different to do in lockdown – they have a massive range of tutorials it’s not just croissants! (BreadAhead pls sponsor me)

Before we get into it, here’s this week’s KG:

Kitchen Goss

Another week, another new hobby. That’s right, I’m officially a yogi. Leeds Yoga society are running daily classes online so you can try out different types of yoga and embarrass yourself on zoom whilst doing it. Yin yoga is the top runner for me, it involves pillows and blankets – enough said really.

My current fave pose: Shavasana (corpse pose). You just lie still on the floor – bliss. I have not mastered any more advanced poses yet, but give me a few weeks and I’ll be one of those ripped, tanned girls doing yoga on the beach for my youtube channel. Like and subscribe xoxo

Back to biz

Ingredients

  • DAY 1
  • 500g strong white flour (white bread flour)
  • 12g salt
  • 55g caster sugar
  • 40g unsalted butter
  • 15g dried yeast
  • 140ml cold water
  • 140ml whole milk
  • DAY 2
  • 250g cold unsalted butter
  • 1 egg

Method

  • DAY 1
  • Pop flour, salt, sugar and dried yeast in a bowl and combine
  • make a well in the centre
  • Add in the milk and water and mix together until a dough forms
  • TOP TIP: you can smush it a bit to incorporate all the dry ingredients in but do not knead it!!! This will overwork the dough and make the folding tomorrow very hard.
  • Cover the bowl with cling film and whack it in the fridge for 8-12 hours (or overnight)
  • DAY 2
  • Take your dough out the fridge
  • Using your knuckles smush it into a rough square shape
  • With a rolling pin roll out each of the corners, leaving a raised square centre and 4 thin flaps/corners
  • get your butter out of the fridge
  • Bash it out with a rolling pin until it is a similar size to the raised dough square
  • Place your butter sheet on top of the raised dough square
  • Pull the bottom flap of dough to completely cover the butter
  • Pull the top flap of dough 80% over
  • Pull the side flaps across to the middle
  • What we have basically done here is wrap up our butter in the dough like wrapping up a parcel
  • with the seam running in the middle (the line where the side flaps meet) use your rolling pin to push down and create ridges in the dough (this makes it easier to roll)
  • Then roll out until a long rectangular shape (about 1/2 a rolling pin wide and 1 1/2 rolling pins long)
  • Fold the top of the dough over 2/3rds
  • Fold the remaining flap of dough over that (so you have a square of dough that is 3 layers thick)
Seam on the LEFT
  • This is called a fold! For croissants we will do 3 folds in total
  • TOP TIP: after the first fold keep the seam on the LEFT, this keeps all your folds in the same direction to give you nice layers
  • With the seam on the left, roll out your dough into a long rectangle again
  • Fold as you did before (top over 2/3rds, remaining flap on top of that so you have a 3 layered square ish shape)
  • Cover in cling film and put in the fridge to chillax for 1 hour (or more)
  • Once suitably relaxed, get it out and you guessed it roll into a long rectangle (remember seam on the left!!)
  • Fold as you did before – this is the 3rd and final fold!!! Nearly there now
  • cover again and put in the fridge to chill out for 3 hours (or more)
  • take the dough out, this time with the seam running HORIZONTALLY roll out until it is about 5mm thick
  • Cut triangles out of the dough (use 4 finger widths to keep them equal)
Mind the tootsies oops x
  • Stretch each triangle out by holding it up and running your other hand gently down it
  • Cut a small slit at the base of the triangle
  • Roll up from the base of the triangle until it forms a little croissant shape
  • Beat your egg and brush on top to make a nice golden glaze
  • Leave the croissants to rise in a warm place for 2 hours
  • Preheat your oven to 190C and (finally) whack in your croissants for 15 mins until nice and crispy
  • Get them out and scoff them all – it will be worth all the hard work I promise!

You made it to the end of that VERY long recipe, give yourself a pat on the back.

Thanks again everyone for all your continued support, comment any recipes you want to see next!

Lots of love, your fave Han, KG x x x

Posted in Cakes

Lemon Celebration Cake

We’re taking it back to my baking roots – the birthday cake. When I had first properly got into baking about age 12, the fondant bday cake was my stomping ground. Now, fondant isn’t what all the trendy kids want (youths these days grrr), so instead we move over to buttercream cakes – tastier, but harder to make look semi-decent.

This is one of my first buttercream cakes and went a bit off the rails with it. Feelin like one of those edgy art people and off to get a very short fringe cut to fit my new persona. Honestly, just call me Bob Ross x

Before we move on, here’s this week’s KG…

Kitchen Goss

I’m back in L town after TOO long. My cave is finally decorated (yes the nawti Mary Berry poster has made a return.) Despite all odds, my houseplants have survived their first week (hello Miss Greenfingers). I won’t do my washing until I have 1 sock and an age 12-13 T-shirt left. My housemates don’t hate me yet – give it another week girls πŸ˜‰ and my diet has gone back to exclusively sour skittles and spag bol. IT’S. GOOD. TO. BE. BACK.

Ingredients

For the sponge:

  • 340g butter
  • 340g caster sugar
  • 6 eggs
  • 340g self-raising flour
  • zest of 3 lemons

For the lemon syrup:

  • 85g caster sugar
  • juice from 1 1/2 lemons

For the buttercream:

  • 3 tbsps lemon curd
  • swiss meringue buttercream or Italian meringue buttercream (basic recipe link here, you will need 2 or 3x this recipe:)

https://bitchesthatbake.home.blog/2020/01/31/italian-meringue-buttercream/

For the splashes:

  • 4tbsps icing sugar
  • 1-3tsps water – add until very drippy

Decor:

  • Isomalt splash – tutorial coming soon don’t panic
  • cake board covered with fondant (optional)

Method

  • preheat oven to 180C and line 3 6inch round cake tins with baking paper
  • beat your butter and sugar
  • add in the eggos one at a time – don’t worry if it looks curdled at this point
  • fold in flour, vanilla extract and zesty stuff
  • plop even amounts into your cake tins
  • bake for 20-30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean
  • start making your syrup – mix together the sugar and lemon juice
  • poke a few holes all over the cakes with a skewer or whatever pointy item you can lay your hands on
  • drizzle the syrup all over the sponges – this will keep them super *MOIST*
  • let cool completely in the tin
  • make your buttercream and add in the lemon curd to flavour
  • level cakes using a knife or a cake leveller to be extra poncey
  • place one cake layer on turntable or plate
  • add a thin layer of lemon curd, followed by a blob of buttercream
  • sandwich with the next cake layer and repeat the lemon curd and buttercream blob
  • put the final cake layer on top
  • smooth a thin layer of buttercream all around the outside of the cake – this is called a crumb coat
  • pop in the fridge for an hour (or longer) to set
  • once set, smooth over a thicker layer of buttercream – use a palette knife and cake scraper (or anything with a straight edge) to work the buttercream into nice sharp lines
  • set in the fridge for at least one hour
  • mix small amounts of buttercream with food colouring of your choice
  • bring your chilled cake out of the fridge
  • get small amounts of coloured buttercream on a palette knife (or just a normal knife) and swipe onto the cake
  • keep going until you’re happy
  • mix up your splash mixture – stir together icing sugar and water until very drippy consistency
  • add whatever colour floats your boat at this point – I went for gold but sort of just looks brown 😦
  • dip in a paintbrush and shake it like mad at your cake
  • To finish off I added an isomalt splash – TUTORIAL COMING SOON – and put onto a basic silver cake board which I iced with fondant to make it look less rubbish
  • cut and enjoy x

And that’s the end of that very long recipe – sorry for blabbing on. Hope you all have a wonderful week. Lots of love, Han, BTB x

Posted in Cakes

Lemon Drizzle Cake

We all love a naughty bit of lemon driz, and this recipe from my queen – Mazza Bazza – is absolutely spectacular.

I was trying out my new loaf tin for this bad boi (yes it was another B&M purchase before you ask) and now I think I’ve spiralled into a slightly worrying tin obsession. What will be next?!? Classic bundt tin, or maybe a fun willy shaped one??? Who knows x

Before we get into the citrussy goodness, time for some juicy kitchen goss…

Kitchen Goss

6 years ago, the entire nation was busy filming themselves being drenched in iced water. Sometimes you’d stumble across a gem – ones where people’s tops fell down or they slipped – but most were just like mine: uncomfortable to watch.

Here I am, aged 14, sporting my Ed Sheeran T-shirt (my first concert which I attended with my dad.) Jeans cutting off circulation to my legs, alarmingly large eyebags. Is that a festival wristband you see? Oh no sir, that is a wristband from guide camp. The bun and full fringe, a strong and iconic look that I am SURE will make a come back very shortly. I was cool x

This vid may be cringe, but the ice bucket challenge did help to raise lots of monies for a great cause and is providing quality entertainment 6 years on, so we allow it x

Anyway enough jibber jabber, on with the cake.

recipe from https://savvybites.co.uk/mary-berrys-lemon-drizzle-cake/

Ingredients

  • Cake:
  • 225g butter
  • 225g caster sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 225g self raising flour
  • zest of 1 1/2 lemons

lemon syrup:

  • juice of 1 1/2 lemons
  • 85g caster sugar

Driz:

  • juice of 1/2 lemon
  • 100g icing sugar

Decor:

  • zest of 1/2 lemon
  • edible glitter (this is essential)

Method – makes a 2lb loaf cake

  • whack your oven on 170C and line a 2lb loaf tin with baking paper
  • Beat the sugar and butter together until paler than me
  • Add in the eggos one at a time
  • fold in your flour
  • plop into your prepared tin and bang that in your oven for 30-35mins or until a skewer comes out clean
  • whilst your cake is still hot, make your lemon syrup
  • mix the lemon juice and sugar together
  • poke loads of holes in your warm cake and pour over syrup, this will make your cake even moister and even lemony-er
  • leave cake to cool in the tin whilst it soaks up all the juicy goodness
  • once cool take out of the tin
  • make your driz by mixing the lemon juice and icing sugar
  • using a spoon drizzle the drizzle
  • decorate with your remaining zest and lots of glitter x

Anyway that’s all for today folks, hope yall have a fun n fresh week xxx

Lots of luv, Han, BTB xoxo

Posted in Cakes

Self-saucing toffee pudding

You saucyyyyy minx. *Said in dirty Northern accent*

As my closest homies will know, my fave EVER dessert is a classic sticky toffee pudding. But when the craving hits, there’s just no time to scurry out to get dates or slave over making a toffee sauce. This is where this self-saucing pud saves the day.

It’s pretty snazzy, the sauce is poured over the cake batter and everything gets banged in the oven. 30 mins later and the cake has magically swapped places with the toffee sauce. It is genuine witchcraft.

Before we get crackalackin, here is the KG:

Kitchen Goss

Today is a very very special day. After 4 long weeks my homebrew is FINALLY ready for a naughty sample. Like all good craft beers, I needed an edgy name for my little baby.

Rochdale Rat P*ss seemed fitting. Genuinely would rather have a plague-riddled rat from the Dale tinkle in my mouth than drink this.

Jokes it’s actually alright, went down a treat.

this little cutie slurpin on some homebrew x

Back to biz

(recipe adapted from https://myfoodbook.com.au/recipes/show/caramel-self-saucing-pudding)

Ingredients

  • FOR THE SAUCE
  • 60g light brown sugar
  • 1tbsp golden syrup
  • 25g butter
  • 150ml boiling water
  • FOR THE SPONGE
  • 50g butter – melted
  • 75g caster sugar
  • 125g self raising flour
  • 100ml milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Method – serves 4, double it if you want more you lard arse

  • get your oven on 180C and get a baking dish of your choice nice and greasyyyy
  • chuck the sauce ingredients (light brown shug, golden syrup, butter and boiling water) in a jug and give that a cheeky stir
  • Bang all the cake ingredients (butter, caster sugar, flour, milk and vanilla) in another bowl and give that a stir until smooth
  • put your batter in your greasy dish
  • carefully pour your sauce all over the top
  • bake for 30mins until the cake is golden and the sauce is at the bottom of the dish
  • Let sit for 5 mins cos it is literally bobby boiling
  • Crack open the ice cream, serve n enjoy x

Happy customer x

Blob of icecream. Blob into mouth. The end.